Roller Skates

My first pair of roller skates were the old, metal kind.  You stuck them on your shod feet, and tightened them to fit by sliding the two pieces just the right distance apart and clamping them in place with a wing nut.  They weighed a ton and their noisy, metal wheels destroyed nice flooring.  I adored them.

I can recall one of the first times I wore my roller skates.  Mom helped me get them on my feet, then sent me directly to the garage, where my dad was doing some wood working on his table saw.  Your uncle Kevin was out there with us.  It was cool out, and it was evening.  I was only just beginning to figure out how to move myself along without falling.  I would push myself from one fixed point to the next, not really moving my feet but just gliding along until I stopped by colliding with another fixed object.  Back and forth in the garage I was doing that.  Back and forth, back and forth...I was going to be good at this activity.

I suppose Kevin was helping.  I guess he was encouraging me to move my feet along, to use one to push myself along while slightly bending my knees and swaying ever so gently to maintain balance and steer myself.  I suppose this is the case because I really don't remember but I do know I eventually was able to do those things.  I did them so well I used to wish roller skating was an Olympic sport because I would own that event!  Just wait till those judges saw me breeze through space backwards while Kool and the Gang Celebrated Good Times.  I could see them all holding up giant "10" placards.  That was to be at least a year from this moment.  At this moment I was pleased to be upright, and marveling at the sheer weight of the contraptions on my feet. 

I have no idea what Kevin was actually doing out there, but I do know dad was ignoring us both.  I think maybe when one has 5 children one learns to tune a lot of things out.  I don't remember what we were talking about but I do remember this:  I was perched upon the garage door when I suddenly needed to go to the bathroom right now.  I can recall seeing the distance between where I stood and the door into the house.  There was a bathroom just inside that door to the right.  But as I stood there the short scoot over there became an unbridgeable chasm.  I froze.  Then Kevin did something hilarious.  I don't know what it was, but I could not.  Stop.  Laughing.  And I could not move from that spot, but my bladder didn't care.  Full is full people, it's not subjective.  Kevin has never been that funny again, I promise you. 

At last I had no choice but to use every bit of arm strength I could muster to push myself from the garage door to the door to the house (and then somehow manage to lift one foot at a time up the single step that led inside).  When I finally managed this monumental task, it was too late.  I was laughing so hard, I peed my pants as I glided across the garage floor in my metal skates.  I left a trail of pee from point A to point B.  My oh-so-helpful brother left stinky me to my own devices, but he was good enough to help with the clean-up.  My memory of that evening ends with the sight of Kevin gingerly grabbing the broom then sweeping the freshly created sawdust from around the table saw into a tidy mountain range along the long line of urine I'd left in my wake.  And that, for me, was Roller Skating: Day One.  On Day Two and every other successive skating day, I'm certain, I visited the loo before donning my skates.

Changing It Up

Hello gentle readers.  Perhaps you've noticed (but more likely you've been too busy on Facebook to care) that I haven't been here for a while.  It's true, the Daily Spawn has been neglected.  Primarily because the actual spawn are very time-consuming.  It's hard to believe I've been keeping this blog since Sarah was a few weeks old and now she's 6 and 1/2 years old.  That's a lot of blogging about the kids.  They're both reading now, and they sometimes read this blog.

So, during this unplanned blogging hiatus, I've been thinking about what I want to do with this thing.  I've spent all this time maintaining a blog about the kids for (primarily) their family.  I have decided now that I will switch things around a bit, and make it a blog about their family, for the kids.  I know they'll want to know more about who we all were before they made the scene, because I wish I knew more about my parents and grandparents and various other relations as, you know, humans.  And so, I invited my own parents to share some of their stories here, for the love of their grandchildren (and for me, because I've been asking them to write this stuff down for years now).  I intend to invite their other grandparents to do the same, but I've been too lazy to pick up the phone and call them.  That is, I know, a recurring theme in my life. 

I thought my folks would be an easy get, but they really hemmed and hawed about it.  Mom tried to tell me she's too busy, but I didn't let her get away with that non-sense.  Dad's objection was one with which I couldn't argue.  He doesn't want to share his stories with The Internets.  And so, my friends, I had to give a little to get a little.  I will have to take the blog down and make it private if I want the goods.

If you're legally family, or if I can make a stirring case for considering you family (for example, if you've ever rushed me or mine to the hospital, bailed one of us out of jail or have incriminating pictures of any of us - most likely Jeremiah), I will send you an invitation to view the blog with a password.  I think you should take me up on it, because given my dad's hesitance to share tales of his misspent youth in public, I think we might get lucky and find out he at least knows the location of a body. 

Before I go dark, here's what the girls are up to:
Kate:  recovering well from near death encounter with asthma, followed by stay in PICU at Egleston, followed by 5-hour puking party one week later, which we all finally agreed was probably her body (literally) purging the myriad drugs from the asthma business, not a virus.

Sarah:  recovering nicely after losing a quick game of Chicken with a tree.  She also enjoyed the hospitality of Egleston's ED, but was not broken of jaw, as we feared due to the extreme swelling and her unusual level of panic (Sarah's pass time is falling down and/or into things, so when she was bloodied and screaming this time, and showed no interest in the frozen yogurt she'd just acquired, we knew shit was real). 

Now that everyone is healthy and safely scabbed over, we are able to enjoy the girls'  winter break.  Why yes, they did have a winter break for more than two freaking weeks back at Christmas time, but apparently a few weeks of school is just more than the kids can take and they need to rest again.  In my day, we got about 10 days for the holidays and sucked it up until Easter, when all we got was Good Friday for a spring break because we'd invariably used the rest of that week for snow days.  

But I digress. 

 

Yesterday I hung out with the little ladies and shocked them by declaring it treat day and allowing them to consume nothing but absolute crap all day long.  Seriously.  For dinner I made them pop corn (from a local farm, though!) and then we had hot cocoa.  We took a long walk outside, played at the park, had Pub Frites at Leon's for lunch, walked home, had a spa adventure with turmeric mud masques that they loved so much they put all over their bodies and ran around giggling while I gasped and said "don't touch that!" over and over.  Then, skin supple and glowing, we watched MegaMind while eating our popcorn dinner.  February was supposed to be a no TV month and the kids are not allowed to have food or beverages in the TV room, so, this was kind of a big deal.  And now you're up to date!  I bid some of you a fond adieu. 

Odds and Ends

Jeremiah created a cheesy Wham! (redundant, I know) Pandora station, and the girls love it.  While we were listening to Careless Whisper, I told them about Weird Al's version, Hairless Sister.  I had to explain who both Marilu Henner and Yule Brynner were.  Then Pandora regaled us with Sinead O'Connor's Nothing Compares to You.  Speaking of a hairless sister!  I was telling Kate and Sarah about Sinead's shaved head and her doe-like blue eyes and perfectly shaped head.  "She can really pull off a shaved head, that one" I said.  Kate snorted and said "not like you".  I don't know why we spend so much time worrying about our children's self esteem, those little a-holes are chipping away at mine on a daily basis.

Kate joined Girls on the Run this semester.  It is a fantastic program for girls..on the run.  Talking about it inevitably gets Band on the Run stuck in my head, but I consider that a bonus.  Before it started in late August, Joy convinced both Kate and Sarah they should run with her on Saturday mornings, to get in shape.  I thought that sounded like fun so I joined them.  Now it's a weekly habit.  On Friday, after her GOTR workout, Kate complains that she's tired and doesn't want to run the next morning.  Then Saturday morning I force them to get up, and while Kate insists she's not running I make her get dressed in running clothes.  Joy, of course, has outfitted them both with adorable running attire from Target.  Then we warm up with a walk to the coffee shop, and Kate insists she's not going to run, then we meet Joy and we all run not quite a mile around a big, long block.  Then, after our intense workout, we reward ourselves with a tasty beverage and sometimes the kids get a scone.  We sit outside and chat with the parade of friends and neighbors who have a similar tradition.  I love it. Today Joy couldn't join us so we began our run at our house, changed the course, and ended it at the coffee shop.  They were thrilled with the change of course.  They were thrilled with the chai latte they shared.  They chatted up everyone there.  On the way home, we sipped our drinks and they listed all the things they appreciated about the day so far.  I have to write this stuff down, because I'll want to come in the office, close the door, and read it again when they're screeching like banshees at one another because they both want the same toy, even though they each have their own version of said toy.  Yes, this record will come in handy.

Yesterday I didn't bike, because Stephanie was out of town.  I walked Monkey instead.  When Kate and Sarah heard I was going to get up and walk Monkey, they wanted to come.  To my complete astonishment, they actually got up at 5AM, got dressed and out the door with me within 5 minutes and were pleasant.  I had to shorten my walk, but I didn't mind.  I've never seen two people so thrilled to see the neighborhood during its sleeping hours.  We watched a little oppossum run across Oakview and they haven't stopped talking about it a day and 1/2 later. 

This week, Jeremiah ran 2 5k's because, I assume, he needed a couple new shirts.  Also because he's a show-off.

Sarah just brought me a picture she drew of herself with a lightbulb over her head.  On it she wrote "Im smoirt".  I asked what it said and she replied "it says 'I'm smart'". 

And now you're caught up!

I Arthur

Sarah:  How did you know that?
Me: I'm psychic.
Sarah: Oh,  coooooool!
Me: [Nods in agreement]
Sarah:  My mom's a sidekick!

 

Mill Creek Falls

 Just when you thought I'd stopped blogging entirely, here I am popping back up like the scary, seemingly unkillable bad-guy in a thriller movie.  Ta-da!  Today we drove 2 hours into the north GA mountains so we could hike 1.2 miles, round trip.  It's true.  But wait, it was for four waterfalls!  One with a giant swimming hole and a rope swing.

The short trail runs right along the very large creek, with a ton of opportunities to wade right in and frolic.  And frolic we did, at nearly each of those opportunities.  We watched the girls scamper all over wet rocks and told ourselves they needed to do that, to develop their confidence in themselves, as well as their love of the outdoors.  We're both exhausted from this one-mile hike, because that was extremely stressful.  The trail is, in many places, downright treacherous, and Sarah fell no fewer than 8 times.  I am not exaggerating.  She took a full header into the creek, pretty early on.  Took it like a champ, too.  Each time she fell she managed to damage herself in some new way, though and that sort of thing is wearing.  I had to do Reiki mid-hike several times. 

 All that was well before the perilous part of the journey.  Just before arriving at the big fall (80') the trail sort of goes away for awhile, and you must walk along the rocks on the side of the water.  Then, it comes back, but it straight up and down.  To reach the swimming hole at the bottom of the big waterfall, you must descend a wall of mountain.  Someone put ropes up in key places, and using them is the only alternative to simply tumbling straight down to the rocks below.  My girls nailed it, but my heart was firmly in my throat the entire way down.

Going back up, I had to lead Sarah safely to the ridge.  I was surprised how quickly I forgot that portions of the climb were nothing but slick, wet mud and pulling yourself up the ropes was pretty much it for the ascent.  Sarah did pretty well.  Kate had a full-on anxiety attack.  Jeremiah was stuck with her on the climb while I plopped Sarah on a tree stump and returned to help him.  By the time I got back she'd made it through the tough part, but that was pretty much it, she'd climbed and jumped and swum in freezing cold water for hours and she was done.  (Jeremiah kinda was too, after coaxing her up the trail while she screamed like she was being murdered for what seemed like an eternity).  For awhile, she stood still on the trail, refusing to take another step. 

Apart from that drama, during which she refused to release my hand but fervently told me how she would not be speaking to me ever again once we got home and she intended to run away immediately upon our safe return to Atlanta, it was a really fun day.  There were a lot of other people out on the trail and they were, all of them, very friendly, a lot of fun and all looking out for each others' safety.  The weather, oh the weather, was so absolutely stunningly gorgeous.  Blue sky, cool breeze, temperature in the mid-80's...sigh...I fell in love with that weather.  The trail was covered with all kinds of interesting mushrooms which seemed to need to be photographed.  I missed a few of my favorites, but here are some that certainly house fairies of the woodland sort.

Here are some more random shots from the day.  I wish I could've gotten more, but my arms were very busy holding up children while they jumped from rock to rock.  My shoulders are actually sore as I type this.  

Summer

June was a busy month, hence the lack of blogging.  Just figuring out where the kids are going to be all day every day is tricky when school's out.  After we returned from Tybee the girls did 2 weeks at Dance 411 dance camp.  Then it was off to Sustainability Camp.  Yes, Sustainability Camp.  I thought they'd learn a bit about permaculture and what-not, and I'm really not sure if that happened, but they had a blast so there.  Now they're at another dance camp - Barefoot N Motion.  My favorite thing about that camp is that it's half a mile from the house.  They are absurdly disorganized, but the kids are having fun.  Next week they'll spend 1/2 days at the same camp, while Aunt Jo Jo hangs out with them in the afternoons.  After that, Grammy Margie heads down for some quality time with the little blonde Drueke girls.  After that...I'm not sure what we'll do with them, but the final week of July promises the arrival of cousin Ro*!  Then cousin Mikey will actually be moving here and living with Steve and Joy.  The girls are beside themselves with this cousin stuff.

Since March or so, Sarah's been requesting a winter-themed birthday.  I've been plotting it out in my head.  This morning she announced she doesn't want that now.  When I asked what she does want she was quiet for a moment, thoughtfully stroking Monkey's velvety ear while she contemplated the possibilities.  Then she said "how about a dog theme?"  Perhaps I'll go with dogs in winter.  Like the Girls of Summer but less resigned and jaded.  I don't know.  What I do know is that while I had a blessed reprieve from the usual Atlanta humidity for Kate's birthday, it's here with a vengence now, and I wish I had a walk-in fridge in which to decorate Sarah's cake. 

I continue to follow the instructions of the Ease Into 5K app!  I knew right away that my timing was less than fortuitous, picking up running for the first time in my life, when I'm nearly 40 and it's nearly summer in Georgia.  So far, mornings have been mostly pleasant, though.  When Rusty commented earlier that I would be doing a 5K, it was the first time it dawned on me that doing this training program was, indeed, meant to result in just such a thing.  Huh, I guess I will.  I switched the setting from the toneless voice of Jim to that of the encouraging Londoner, Alison.  When it's time to run she says "run!" and I'm certain if she'd not been cut off she'd go on to say "like your feet are winged and the wind is always at your back!  You can fly!"  I like Alison.  Well, I liked her.  Until week 3 when she went from having me do many rounds of 45 and 60 second bouts of running with lots of walking in between to running for, like, 3 minutes in a row.  The first time it happened, I checked the time remaining on the run and found it was still, like a minute and a half and I thought "Alison you traitorous whore!".  My anger gave me energy, though, so I guess she can stay.  I don't know if I'll ever consider myself a runner.  Certainly not enough to plaster my bumper with random-seeming numbers, a stick figure with its hair blowing backwards and "runner girl" in pink.  No, I will never stop hating those "runner girl" stickers.  I do like the one I saw the other day that just says "run" as if the owner is in a perpetual state of panic.  The fact that it's on his car is even more amusing.  "You run, dummy.  I'm driving".   I want one that says "duck".  Anyway, what I do know is this - biking has gotten easier. 

So anyway, the kids.  I have some photos.  I will relocate the little green camera (last spied in the playroom, where expensive things go to die) and share some with you.  I promise. 

Tybee Island Lighthouse from the beach

We took a short vacation.  After Jeremiah's [highly festive] birthday, we headed south to the island of Tybee for surf and sand and too much sun and ice cream.  This morning when we piled back into the car and pointed the car toward Atlanta once more, none of us was ready.  I mean, emotionally.  We were all packed and I don't think we forgot anything, but you know what I mean.  We could've used a couple weeks or maybe a month.  Why aren't we European?

When we arrived on Tybee the sky was looking ominous.  Huge storm clouds loomed and the wind whipped and it was kind of dark.  Undaunted, we headed straight to the beach.  There, we were forbidden to get in the water due to the vicious undertow and imminent storm.  No worries, this did not stop us from obtaining and devouring some fresh shrimp.  The weather report assured us it was going to storm all day Tuesday.  Why is the weather such an a-hole sometimes?

Tuesday morning arrived and, shamed by Jeremiah's adherence to his Couch to 5K (now more gently titled "Ease Into 5K") app, I began the program myself.  I figured the beach was a good place to start this - what with the lack of hills.  So anyway, we took turns running and the rain held off.  Emboldened by the lack of precipitation, we rented the kids bikes.  It was our intention to finally get them both riding two-wheelers with confidence.  We were ready for a morning of starts and stops on the hard-packed sand.  Instead, they climbed on and did this (see photo).  Sarah requested help getting started a few times, but when she realized it was easier for her to control that portion of the ride, she stopped asking.  That was the extent of our teaching the kids to ride.  Step one:  put them on bikes.  Step two:  take pictures of them riding. 


The storm was still promising to hit us, and so swimming was out of the question.  Instead, we spent the morning riding the bikes, and celebrating the riding of the bikes and flirting with the sea's edge until we got hungry.  Flying in the face the foreboding weather report, we brazenly walked to lunch (just around the corner from our cottage, the Flip Flop) at Sundae Cafe.  There, we enjoyed seeing the girls' faces as early-planning and a bit of texting that day resulted in...a surprise visit from Aunt Jo Jo!  We'd been playing the "Made Ya Look" game while we waited for our food and so, when Sarah said "I see Aunt Jo Jo!" Kate absolutely refused to turn around until Joy was touching her back.  Priceless!  Also, this will assure our triumph at future "Made Ya Look" tourneys.  While we were at the restaurant, the weather stopped kidding around, and the skies opened.  Happily, Joy gave us all a ride back to the Flip Flop.  That evening, after some game playing while it rained, and some showing off on two wheels during pauses in the rain, Joy took the girls out for pizza and Jeremiah and I enjoyed a little date.  We weren't that great about taking pictures.  You'll just have to trust me that Joy was there.  She'd had a lunch meeting in Savannah.   She left the next morning, just in the time to miss all the beautiful sunny weather that pervaded the remainder of our trip.  Sigh.

Kate's BayWatch shot

Sarah's BayWatch shot

The cabin's master bedroom has windows to the kids' room.  Weird.

We swam and swam and swam.  We did, indeed, eat a lot of ice cream.  We visited the pier often and on our second trip there, we saw 2 guys catch baby sharks and one guy catch a stingray and a pod of dolphins frolicking, yes, frolicking just off the pier in the blue.  That day, the neophyte cyclists biked from the north end of the island, all the way down to the south end and back again with minimal whining!

This morning, we dragged Kate and Sarah from their beds (per their requests, I should add) to see the sun rise over the beach.  Nature did not disappoint; it was a good one.  I had Cat Stephens' Morning Has Broken stuck in my head the rest of the day as a result.  Just as we asked a nice woman who'd also come out for the sunrise spectacle to take our picture, the fuchsia star peeked over the horizon and she and I both gasped.  The kids acknowledged that it was pretty but I think there is something about age that causes a show of beauty like that to stick in your throat.  The photos, of course, do it no justice. 

At Sundaes.  Good food.

Another shark!

Avec shark

Everyone's got to touch the dang dead shark

As you can see from the photos, Tybee is a shark-infested place.  We enjoyed that.  We love the danger.  And we love that we never met the parents of the baby sharks we found.  They must be bereft.  And angry.