Friday, August 01, 2008

Dental Plan

I totally stole this. I did it even before Epiphany could tag me. Innocently perusing the blogs of the AM, as I am wont to do, I found it in her comments section and ran with it. It came from Mimi, who credits the places from which it was previously stolen. Memes are born to be stolen, after all. So here's what we do - go to Google and enter into the search your first name and "needs" after it. Now I know what Lisa needs (it's shocking how they seem to know...). There were over 35 million results, but, like Mimi, I think I'll keep it down to 15.

1. Lisa needs braces. (This one comes up a time or million.)
2. Lisa needs a nap. (I know, right???)
3. Lisa needs a new home now! (Oh dear...)
4. (This one really alarmed me) LISA NEEDS TO BLOG OR I WILL HIT HER WITH A STICK.
5. Lisa needs help (this one comes up a lot...)
6. Lisa needs to read Jon's article again, a little more carefully. (I wasn't aware Jon wrote an article, so I can see why it might be thought that I wasn't reading it for comprehension.)
7. Lisa needs to get a life (hey!)
8. Lisa needs to get away from family
9. Lisa needs to assert herself (about how badly she needs to get away from family?)
10. Lisa needs a tree. (OK, that's amazing. I'm headed out at lunch to Pike's to buy a friend a tree.)
11. Lisa needs to find a lone trampoline in a corner that will take her to the Buddha.
12. Lisa needs to be in LA or Nashville.
13. Lisa needs to be found and brought home safely. (Try LA or Nashville)
14. Lisa needs to feel a little special tonight (Just tonight?)
15. Lisa needs to establish her own look (I think Joy posted this, I have a sneaking suspicion she's nominated me for What Not to Wear.)

Now, since I so rudely stole this before I could even be tagged, I shall commence to taggin'. Please let us know what you need Sybil (hasn't posted in, like, a month) and all the Worst Mamas (I bet you guys all share #8 with Lisa...) and Chris & Sonya (because Christmas is coming.)


Jo-Jo said...

Joy needs: (1) no translator (2) tragedy (3) a better understanding of the nature of evil (4) to leave her Office!!!! (5) some little things (6) you (7) to spends some serious time in Baghdad (8) clowns (9)to take a lesson and step to the back of the line (10) to get across.
It then takes a turn to whatever needs Joy. That is true.

jdrueke said...

1. Jeremiah needs saving (go to hell!)
2. Jeremiah Needs A Girlfriend? (no, I don't)
3. Jeremiah Needs OUT,ASAP!
4. Jeremiah (Wright) needs to keep preaching
5. Jeremiah needs your prayers and faith (see #1)
6. Jeremiah needs school more than the system needs him
7. Jeremiah (Wright) needs to take a vacation
8. Jeremiah needs a present
9. Jeremiah needs to repent
10. Jeremiah needs your vote September 9th (don't ask, just vote!)
11. Jeremiah needs to come up with policy
12. Jeremiah needs a go-between
13. Jeremiah needs an adoptive family who can understand his special needs and set firm, consistent limits.
14. Jeremiah needs to give me all his gold
15. Jeremiah needs to upgrade that p.o.s. truck for a sweet ride

Hmm, really the only that works for me is 15. And 12. Don't ask.

*pab said...

Keith said...

Keith Needs:

1) Content (I almost didn't continue, because this site was called . I could have clicked through and lost the day.)

2) a spotlight (not a good idea)

3) a break from life (wouldn't that be death?)

4) Mick to stay cool (and keep rockin'!!)

5) help (no argument)

6) Jesus (whenever I call, straight to voicemail)

7) to stop being such a mean guy (FUCK YOU)

8) comfortable seats - and comfortable aisle spacing, state of the art sound, lighting, and stage equipment, and refurbished decor ... (and more cowbell)

9) some luv (it goes on to explain that, "Keith has not been around lately and i this tribe feels empty without him *pouting* ...")

10) a haircut. (Eerily on target)

Mimi Lenox said...

"Lisa needs to find a lone trampoline in a corner that will take her to the Buddha".....

That is quite possibly the funniest one I've read today.
Laughing....well done.

Reetay Arvaysay said...

Tree needs:
to grow (I do see a therapist...)
help (see above)
you (ditto)
us (yes, I do)
me (oh, yes)
saving (oh god)
caterpillars (eewww)
light (I work in theatre)
sunlight (ah - specificity)
TLC (yup)
more love (always)
to be replaced (do not)
a hillbilly (wtf?)
Doctor Lawn Care (don't have a lawn!)
trimming (well - okay)
pruning (see above)
to be cut up and taken away (eek!)
tweaking (like David Sedaris used to?)
a fence (sometimes)
water (definitely)
to be axed (funny: BF's last name is Axe)
work (gotta pay the bills)
better shading to come to life (makeup?)


to stop lurking (but I enjoy the blog!)