Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Opposite Day

Sarah strode purposefully to my side and turned her big eyes up to me. "I want a time-out" she said. "What?" I asked, wondering if she meant she and her team needed a moment to stop the game and confer in private. She didn't. "I want a time out, I want to go sit in the chair." I explained that time-outs are for when one misbehaves. "Have you been bad?" I asked, wondering where and more importantly when I would discover the evidence. "Yes. I'm bad. Time out." (maybe she thinks sticking her entire fist into the container of olives warranted punishment.)

Well now what? Already we can scarcely threaten the child with punishments; she is impressively unfazed by pretty much anything we can dish out. Now she's taking my one real weapon from me when I was least expecting it. I took a millisecond to admire my adversary's genius. She moved across the kitchen and began laboriously segregating a tall bar chair into the middle of the floor. "Five minutes", she called over her shoulder to me. Wavering between telling her she couldn't have a time out (is this conversation really happening?) and letting her spend 5 minutes alone on the chair I opted my usual solution - I ignored her. "How about chicken nuggets for dinner?" I proposed, shaking the box of frozen wads of breaded chicken in her direction. She said nothing. I preheated the oven.

"I want a time-out" came her voice from behind me. I stayed the course. "We have corn or edamame, what do you prefer?" I wondered where Kate was, I thought it might be helpful if she would make fun of Sarah's wanting a time-out. The growling from my bedroom told me Kate was fully engaged in abusing poor Max and would not be stepping in to help. I spotted Rex darting across the room. "Sarah! There goes Rex!" and with that, I was saved. The question remains, though, what to do when next she's naughty...throw her in that brier patch?

Rex, sleek and fuzzy saviour


FlapScrap said...

You could make her apply wax with her left hand to all the cars, then buff it all off with her right hand.

Sister K said...

my floors need washing in a bad way!

Keith said...

Be happy you don't beat that kid. Her demands would be exhausting.

FlapScrap said...

You know what? I think I want a damn time out too.

Ellen said...

I can relate! When Ro* had her first time out at the ripe old age of 3, she refused to have it be over, insisting she would only leave the bottom stair when she was good and ready. I ignored her. I think she finally got up. At least by the time we moved here.
Next time Sarah is "bad" send her up here. We will be glad to "punish" her.

LMP said...

Ellen, I appreciate your offer but somehow I don't think filling her belly with treats, excessive hugging and tickling and letting her play with her cousin and the chickens would be considered "punishment".