If I ever want to shower in peace I have to get up before the girls and be quick about it or do it late at night. Otherwise, I can count on at least one little kid plastered up against the shower door, demanding I write letters in the steam for them. This morning it was Kate. She chattered away for a bit while I kept saying "what's that Kate? It's hard to hear you over the water...speak up". Then she started doing the pee-pee dance and disappeared into the little water closet. From there, she began talking to me again.
"Whawha wha wha wha wha..." she said. "WHAT?" I called back. At the exact same level, she repeated herself. I began to worry slightly. Often there are toilet-related issues, especially in my bathroom where the toilet is slightly higher and the toilet paper, on a light stand, is often placed out of the reach of little ones. They are impatient and the whole thing can turn out...messy. "Honey I can't hear you, is everything okay over there?" I called to her. Same thing, still much too quiet. Now it was taking awhile and I began to fear the sort of mess one doesn't wish to face first thing in the morning. I raced to shave that last bit of leg and rinsed off. I turned off the water and hurriedly patted myself dry while still trying to coax the issue out of her, if for no other reason than to steel myself. "What did you say Kate? I couldn't hear you." At that point, all I did hear was her exasperated sigh. Why on earth was she still on the toilet?
I all but fell out of the shower and peered in at her. There she sat, calmly atop the throne (where the princess belongs, right?), toilet paper easily in reach. Relieved, I said "now, what were you trying to tell me?"
"I said, " she explained "that coral snakes are very dangerous."
Looking at my leg, I noticed an entire segment I'd missed with the razor. "Yes they are" I agreed "deadliest bite in all of North America." Some day, I will again enjoy the luxury of standing in a steaming shower for no good reason except that it feels nice, if only for a few blissful moments...this is a dream on to which I hold tightly.
7 comments:
She's right. Also, dogs and bees can smell fear.
I was in mid-shampoo this very morning, when the shower door flew open and a panic-stricken Ellen yelled in my face, "ONE OF THE CHICKENS IS OUT! WHAT DO I DO?" I can only presume that she did this because she knows that only a wet, naked, sud-covered person is capable of rationally devising a plan for effectively corralling an errant hen.
At least you have a shower DOOR. I have to get up an hour earlier than Z on shaving days, just to avoid the warming steam whooshing out of the bathroom as he throws back the curtain to say, "HI! bye bye.."
she opd the dor an shoted WONE THE CHKNS OUT??? she must of mstk yr nkkd peter as chkn!!! b-cock! b-cuk-cock! lol lol lol lol
hay wz th skaypt chkn a pekr?????
wen y kot the chkn did ja haf to chok him
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