Wednesday, May 30, 2007

It's just sitting there in the middle of the kitchen

I've been avoiding the room entirely. Every time I peek in there, it remains, immovable. Why won't it just disappear the way so many giant southern roaches have in past? Where do they go? Can't they take it with them? Earlier I stood right in front of it, staring at it, sipping my coffee. It just sat there. I understand Alice's inability to resist, but the cake she found that said "eat me" only made her smaller. This cake promises to do the opposite. This is more of an explode out of the house with giantness cake. I regret having promised Steve & Joy there'd be birthday cake left when they came over tonight (at this rate, there might not). I regret not insisting Jeremiah take it with him to work. It won't shut up. It wants me to eat it for breakfast. I should've just worked from the office today. Going to be a long one...

9 comments:

The Plaid Sheep said...

I always tell people, baking is gratifying. After all, you're creating temptation. What's more god-like than that?

*pab said...

You could always put it in the freezer. It seemed to work for Joey (on Friends), when The Shining was tormenting him...I'm just saying...

Kicking N. Screaming said...

The freezer is full of birthday ice cream. :|

Sigh...I suspect I'd feel more God-like if I weren't the one so tempted.

Farrago_NW said...

In these situations I always go ahead and eat the cake and then, next time I take a dumpsky, I just make sure to crap it all out real good. You have to keep a pretty sharp eye on how much you're eating. I figure if I eat, say, 3 pounds of cake and drop a 4 pound bunker buster I'm both ahead of the game AND god-like.

Anonymous said...

Talk about having your cake and eating it too!

Kicking N. Screaming said...

I don't know what's grosser - the thought of producing 4 pounds of poop in one sitting, or of consuming 3 pounds of cake at once. I think I'll hire you as my diet sponsor. When I get into a fix, I can call you to talk me down...

RFKeith said...

Any time I'm tempted to eat fattening foods, I just put the food on my chair and sit on it so it sticks to my ass. That's where's it was going to end up anyway.
Actually, I just eat the food.

Navilyn said...

As always, 'the hilarious Lisa!' Did you forget about us? We would have helped to 'get rid' of the cake for you...

ps: then again, if there was cream on it, maybe not...

Farrago_NW said...

I can tell by the brick
in the john that your sick
betty crocker, pffft pffft, betty crocker.