Spring Fever

Kate is in the ER again. She started looking rough last night and today she had to leave school early. As I headed out of the office I found myself inexplicably angry at all the cars on the road. I ruminated on the work I was not finishing. I felt guilty for leaving early. My mind wandered to people from my past who had wronged me or irritated me in some lasting way. I smoldered. About halfway home I realized, and I should point out here that it was 20 minutes into my drive but it's 38 years into my life, that this vexing feeling I always call anger or irritation or hunger was worry. It was worry. That is unpleasant.

When I got to school she was curled up on a tiny couch mostly asleep. The alder and the cedar are filling the air with their pollen right now. It's making a lot of people sick. Kate looked pollenated. The problem with Kate's allergies is that they literally cause her not to be able to breathe. She napped for awhile but I woke her up when I checked on her because she was rattling and wheezing in her sleep. We tried the inhaler a lot. We tried the Zyrtec. I even tried Reiki. Finally Jeremiah arrived home and he took her to the hospital and I stayed home with Sarah. Now I'm sitting here with Sarah, still worried, feeling momentarily defeated by this stupid asthma. I know she'll be fine, but few things in this life suck as much as seeing your child in pain and being powerless to fix it. And now, as if that's not bad enough, I just have to sit here and wait for Jeremiah to call.

It does help that I have a sweet little blonde dressed all in pink and wearing a cat headband cuddled up next to me, watching Bolt.


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Location:TV Room