Thursday, January 25, 2007

There IS a monster in the house...

And it does have blue eyes. Tonight Kate behaved so horribly at bedtime I almost didn't recognize her. I tried every ploy I could conceive to alter her behavior, to bring her back to her senses, but finally she was so out of hand I was left with nothing but shock value. I smacked her bare little bottom. Just hard enough to leave a white, then red mark on one cheek. The instant regret I anticipated never arrived. Especially since...she laughed. She laughed when I spanked her. We're doomed.

12 comments:

Delphi said...

Lucky you don't live in California. The spanking police might have shown up.

RFKeith said...

Sounds like it's time to send in the Ice Man. http://flapscrap.blogspot.com/2007/01/ice-man.html

Navilyn said...

That is scary! How many taps was it, one, two, three?

Either way, I think taking away of privileges is next...

Brooklyn Volunteer said...

Irene is the master of monster-like behaviors before bedtime. Let's see - flipping the mattress, taking off pajamas, climbing out of the crib and quietly playing with toys, destroying books, etc.

*pab said...

try a gentle swat with a wooden spoon. it's akin to the "switch" (as gigi would say..."go on out yonder and pick your switch") it tends to grab the attention. just ask my sister.

sister k said...

have her run in circles and act like a wild woman before bed. then she'll fall asleep like a baby (chloe comes to mind :) ...otherwise, hold your breath until she's 21?

Kicking N. Screaming said...

- Sister K - that's sound advice but I think I might just go with giving her bourbon with dinner... Too retro?

- Brooklyn - Flipping the mattress? Irene is such a rockstar!

Epiphany Alone said...

Lisa: Geez. What a little monster. Today's mom definitely puts a little something in the sippy cup.

On a related note, at the Mommy Dinner someone tried to say that maybe Lauren is Gifted and that's why she is bored in Pre-k. I replied, "No. She's just an ass."

RFKeith said...

That eye looks good. She's ready for another "trip" to Steve and Joy's House o' Actionable Misadventures!

Anonymous said...

Dear Miss Mommy,

I'm thinking about beating my child. I've read all your work, so I know I won't regret it. My question, though, is this: did the school nurse buy the story about falling on the bottom of the couch? Do you have any advice on explaining cigarette burns?

Bruiser in Bixoli

sister k said...

ha ha...or you could just have the bourbon with your dinner and then you won't even notice her monster behavior!

Boomin' Granny said...

She comes by the laughing honestly. Her Great Aunt (is that right??) Eleanor, when punished by having to sit on a chair in the middle of the kitchen floor (worked on me!) would swing her feet, sing and laugh. Your poor Grandmother!