When I was an obnoxious teenager Dad and I didn't get along a lot of the time. It was especially frustrating to my mom who would declare "you two are just too much alike!" Back then I would take exception to that statement, insisting I wouldn't give my daughter such a hard time for not understanding trigonometry after 47 explanations. Once I went to college, though, my dad smartened up. Funny how they do that. And I've realized I am a lot like him and I'm pretty proud to say so. Dads are, by default, teachers so I thought I'd use this space to steal an idea I've seen often, and list just a few things I've learned from Dad so far.
2. Don't put jelly on raisin toast - it explodes
3. If you can convince your opponent that the word you've put on the Scrabble board is real, even if your opponent is your elderly mother to whom English is a second language, it's not cheating.
4. No home should be without a dog.
5. Think for yourself. I don't know if it's ironic or not, but it's probably largely to my dad's credit that I turned out to be such a frothing-at-the-mouth feminist.
6. Mow the lawn in alternating patterns each week so it doesn't grow in funny looking.
7. How to hammer a nail.
8. How to make crepes properly.
9. Common sense is not that common
10. If you don't have something nice to say, push way down deep inside until you just can't stand it another second.
11. Sometimes the person sitting in the room with you and your mother, reading the newspaper, truly isn't listening to a word you two are saying so maybe you shouldn't make plans and assume his silence is consent. (Alternately, now's the time to do just that...he's not listening...)
12. The most important portion of the evening news is the weather report.
14. When you vacuum a room you have to move all the furniture and vacuum under it. Then you have to vacuum the seat cushions on the couch and if you don't someone will notice and make you do it again while berating you for not taking time to do a job well.
15. Sometimes if you do a job poorly enough in front of that person, you can get that person to just do it for you...you must be willing to be repeatedly told "what your problem is..."
17. How to argue. No really, that's a valuable skill.
18. How to avoid falling prey to the unstable social security system.
19. One can be spiritual without being religious
21. Photography is an accessible hobby that can help you learn to appreciate beauty in all kinds of new ways. (it might take awhile to master that tricky timer...)
22. You can probably do it yourself. (For nearly anything, if you have the will).
23. Make a budget. Pay yourself first. Yeah, I know I mentioned that early - it's a lesson that has to be learned repeatedly.
24. My assertion that I am fat is so ridiculous that it's amusing to refer to me as "thunder thighs"...no, it's facetious, see? No? 24b. Girls are perhaps a little neurotic.
25. Exactly what kind of man I wanted to marry. No, Jeremiah isn't just like my dad (I've got that covered myself) but I knew enough to settle for nothing short of someone who is kind, respectful, smart and funny.
There's so much more, I'm sure I've missed some really important stuff but that means I can expect dad to call and say "you know what your problem with that post is..."
Happy Father's Day, Dad! I love you!