Jeremiah and I are hard pressed to finish a new verse for the diarrhea song that begins "When you're filling up your Huggies..." We've even tried replacing Huggies with diaper, Pampers or Luvs. It's a tough one. Please submit your suggestions here.
Kate's chest x-rays came back bronchitis and pneumonia free. The doctor gave us a prescription for a cough medicine that contains codeine, but Kate's already addicted to smack and I just thought, you know, why add fuel to that fire? (Sheesh)
42 comments:
When you're filling up your nappy and you feel something crappy, diarrhea! pffft, pffft, diarrhea!
When you're filling up your Huggy and it splatters on the ruggy, diarrhea! (pffft pffft) diarrhea!
When your diaper is so loaded that the lining has exploded diarrhea! (pffft pffft) diarrhea!
When you blast so much poop and pee
that you earn an honorary degree
to Brown University
diarrhea! (pffft pffft) diarrhea!
Huggies perkin' up fresh java
down your leg runs molten lava
diarrhea! (pffft pffft) diarrhea!
What if Huggies just can't hold'em
What to do? Well ... Depends.
Diarrhea! (pffft pffft) diarrhea!
Spatter sputter squooshy tushy
Huggie's off so please don't pushy
diarrhea! (pffft pffft) diarrhea!
They should make some special Huggies
Make 'em brown and call them "Hugglies"
diarrhea! (pffft pffft) diarrhea!
Mommy hold me, don't you love me?
I just scared of that gross Huggie.
diarrhea! (pffft pffft) diarrhea!
When those Huggies start to twitchin'
Something's cooking in the kitchen
diarrhea! (pffft pffft) diarrhea!
The comments here, have truely made my day!
When you're filling up your Huggies and the poop looks really ugly, diarrhea! pffft, pffft, diarrhea!
When your Luvs are feelin mushy and it's comin from your tushy, diarrhea! pffft, pffft, diarrhea!
When your diaper is feelin' heavy and you think you need a levee, diarrhea! pffft pffft, diarrhea!
When your daily hygiene schema calls for seeking aid from FEMA, diarrhea! pfft, pfft, diarrhea!
When your Huggies get to clinging and your sphincter gets to stinging, diarrhea! pfft, pfft, diarrhea!
There’s a party at your bud’s but you can’t go because of mud-butt, diarrhea! pfft, pfft, diarrhea!
If you wake up in the morning, and feel wet, and brown, diarrhea, diarrhea...
When you glance back in the loo and you see quite a pile of poo, diarrhea! pfft, pfft, diarrhea!
When your last name rhymes with dookie then what do you expect, diarrhea! pfft, pfft, diarrhea!
There's a stirring in your bowels and you're running out of towels, diarrhea! pfft, pffft, diarrhea!
no, wait:
There's a stirring in your bowel and you're wiping with a trowel, diarrhea! pffft, pffft, diarrhea!
In your eyes the light the heat in your eyes I am complete, diarrhea! pfft, pfft, diarrhea!
When it's coming down intestine and it's movin' with aggression, diarrhea! pffft, pffft, diarrhea!
When you feel a major fluff, careful now, you may leave a big pile of stinky mush (pfft pfft) diarrhea (whomp, whomp)!
I can tell you're eating grain
by the stain and the methane,
diarrhea! pffft, pffft, diarrhea!
(SIGH)
Okay ... I accept the challenge.
-ahem-
James Brown may have passed on
but Kate's brown payday's not done,
diarrhea! squirt squirt, diarrhea!
when you take a little risk
try to fart but out squirts bisque,
diarrhea! (pffft pffft) diarrhea!
Every morning, break of dawn,
diaper's off, butt coffee's on,
diarrhea! (pffft pffft) diarrhea!
When it's time to drop a deuce,
nothing solid, just butt juice,
diarrhea! (pffft pffft) diarrhea!
There's no longer solid stool,
When you drop friends at the pool, diarrhea! (pffft pffft) diarrhea!
Poops, I did it again,
I just meant to fart,
but left a big stain,
oh baby baby now ...
And now, my end is near;
And so my feces' are a'squirtin'.
My friend, you see these tears,
look at my face, my poop chute's hurtin'.
I've cramped, I've filled the bowl,.
Sent so much mud, down Hershey Highway;
You bet, I'd give it all,
for just one dryyy day.
...doody doody doo ...
Goodbye to you, my liquid friend.
We've been a team since I ate bad chicken.
Together we filled 12 Huggies.
Learned of mud and ABC's,
blasted farts and soiled jammies.
Goodbye my friend, my soft mud pie,
a chorus of turds are singing in the sky,
Now that the stench is in the air.
Disinfectant everywhere.
As you dry up I'll be there.
We got Joy, we got mum, we had Stephen with our runs.
Jeremiah looks dismal
have some more Pepto-Bismol.
Goodbye, Poo poo, please pray for me,
You were the black shit of the family.
You tried to teach me right from wrong.
Too much wine and too much song,
they moved my diaper with a tong.
Goodbye, Poo poo, hard not to cry
when all the turds are singeing my poor eyes,
Now that the smell is in the air.
Lysol spray is everywhere.
When they toss you I'll be there.
We got Joy, we got mum, we had Stephen with our runs.
Jeremiah's the guy
who got crap all down his thigh.
My diarrhea, little one.
You gave me cramps and made me burn my bung.
And every time that I was down
my poor diaper, you would drown
fill it up with nasty brown.
We got Joy, with a ton, we got Stephen, Edward's son.
Now my Pampers will leach
and pollute the nearest beach.
Don't you think that's a bit more than the Diarrhea Song can handle?
I surrender. Keith is the Chief Poo-bah, Dr. of Scatology, Godfather of Bowl.
Grand Master of tha Ass Blaster. Turd to ya motha!
I never could have done it without Jojo pushing me. She was the Pet Sounds to my Sgt. Pepper.
Sgt. Pooper? Oh God ... I can't stop.
When you fart and it smells know that poop is on its tail, diarrhea! pffft, pffft, pffft diarrhea!
To the tune of My Funny Valentine...
My diaper smells of poo,
sweet, runny, stanky poo,
it fills my Luvs and the wind.
Poo, made of rice and beans,
sometimes it kinda stings,
yet, you can stop it with butt cream.
Is my diaper full and wet.
Is it overflowing yet,
When you open it I'll bet,
that you gag, some.
Please change my diaper mom,
cause I've made a real stink bomb,
Please change me soon or I'll scream,
don't be stingy with the butt cream.
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