Tragedy and theivery

I'm feeling a bit depressed today because, I know some of you will really feel my pain on this one, my Kitchenaid stand mixer has STOPPED WORKING. Yes, gentle readers, you read that correctly. It's quit on me. The last batch of bagels (thanks for the sugar suggestion, Sheep, it was marvelous) really put the hurt on it and I think it's slipped into a coma. It will work with nothing in it. But the girls and I were making chocolate chip cookies the other night and when we tried to mix up just butter and sugar it refused. We'll have to take it to the small-appliance doctor. I hope it can be saved but if it can't, I will replace it with one with a bigger motor. I plan to make a lot of bagels.


As if that weren't sad enough, the garbage disposal has also died. Time to start composting, I guess.


To cheer myself up I'm stealing a meme from Epiphany, which, coincidentally, my Plaid Sheep friend also just stole, I noticed when I linked to her up there. I don't usually do the memes but part 6 of her dad's never-ending meme struck a cord so here we go:


51. When did you go to your first funeral?
I was 22 by the time I attended my first funeral. My friend Gayle's fiance, Patrick, killed himself. Judy and I had spent the entire night with Gayle, waiting for word on him because although he shot himself with a shotgun, he didn't die right away. It was all very terrible. Gayle went to work the very next day, and out that night. Judy and I kept waiting for her to have some sort of grieving breakdown but if she did, we never witnessed it. I honestly think we were both sadder.


52. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown?
Eighteen! So long, suckers! Don't get me wrong, I love my hometown of Woodstock, VA. Beautiful place. Some of the most wonderful people I've ever known came from there. But please don't make me live there.


53. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Richards. We moved from Indiana after I finished first grade. She gave me a Frances book. I forget which one she gave me when we moved, but for Christmas she gave me "Frances Gets a Baby Sister" which was really sweet of her because all I wanted for Christmas was a baby sister. I got in trouble in her class for writing "To hell with mathwork" on my math paper. I'd seen "To hell with housework" on Mrs. Emory's refrigerator and asked her what it meant. She told me it meant she didn't like housework. No one ever asked me why I wrote that on my paper. Thus began my passion for correcting the education system...


54. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?
I went with my mom to Lowell, MA to visit my grandparents. She gave me Dentine gum to chew during takeoff and landing so my ears wouldn't hurt and she let me sit in the window seat. I remember the sight of the tiny lights of the cities below us. My grandfather took us mushroom hunting and every time the car would go over a hill (remember, I lived in Indiana at the time) I'd say "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!" at the top of my lungs. Mom said "Lisa, please stop that!" and Grampy said "Oh leave her alone, she's fine" thus endearing himself to me forever.


55. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
I don't remember but it was probably Anni. Possibly Barbara Hollifield.

56. Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them?
Anni. We met in Mrs Gnegy's 3rd grade class. We were buds all through school, kept in touch while in college, took a cross country trip together after college, went to Europe together in grad school and I just talked to her on Tuesday. She's doing well with the brand new baby.

57. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents’ house?
Johnson Hall at Virginia Commonwealth University with Julee Myerpeter who was a consummate slob but who very specifically kept her filth on HER side of the room, God bless her.

58. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
Jeremiah. But it should be noted that he is also the first person I call when I have a good day.

59. Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen?
Keith and Ellen's wedding. I was the maid of honor. I was just a 14-year-old punkass kid and so I had no idea what the duties of a maid of honor really were. It was a nice wedding, though. My mom made the cake (after swearing she'd never make any of our wedding cakes) and worked diligently to make the colors match the dresses exactly. It was perfect. But it was an outdoor spring wedding and after the cake sat outside in the sun it all faded and was completely white by the time we ate it. Tasted, great, though.

60. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Wonder where I am.

61. What was the first concert you attended?
Ub40. They played at James Madison. I was not high. In retrospect, I was probably the only one there who wasn't.


62. First tattoo or piercing?
Based on my experience with two tiny girls my best guess is my first piercing was my arbitrary, joyous shriek. All my tattoos came from Cracker Jack and I really couldn't say when that started.

63. First celebrity crush?
Burt Ward. I must've been 4 or 5.