Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Voices Tell Me To Wear Leg Warmers

When left to its own devices, my brain plays horrible music. I mean, sometimes it's OK, I guess, but always it's unexpected. Usually it's something I haven't heard in a long time. Right now it's playing Bob Geldof's I don't Like Mondays. I don't know when I last heard that song, but it's Thursday now and therefore irrelevant. When I traveled to Europe with Anni back at the beginning of 1997 I didn't bring any music with me. We weren't driving anywhere and since we were traveling together, a walkman seemed unnecessary if not downright rude. My brain forced me to listen to the most trite, bubble gum mid-80s top 40 it could come up with almost the entire time.

When my cousin Lauren got married the DJ at her reception liked to play OLDIES. He would pull something out that was 20 years old and preface it, in the voice of the guy who reads the copy for local, used car lot television ads, with "It's an ooooldie!" The best was when he asked "Who likes Canadian rock?!?" and we were all like "oh sweet, he's going to play Tom Sawyer" but no. He played some Ann Murray. I'm not making this up. It would be a lot funnier if that guy wasn't actually my brain. That's the just the sort of thing my head does to me. I can't figure out how I know I don't really like that music if that's what my brain is selecting for me. The other day I was forced to listen to Howard Jones' Life in One Day all day. I really like the Howard Jones song from Better Off Dead but my mind doesn't care about that, it wants to play the crap! I'm ashamed to admit that I kind of enjoyed the afternoon it set some Roxette on repeat, but given its usual playlist that was pretty rockin'.

I assume this is some sort of karmic punishment. This, and the fact that no matter how it seems like it's going the line I get in at the grocery store is always the slowest, (Express lane with a guy handing over exact change for a single pack of gum? Seems like the perfect choice, but it's time to change shifts!) are what make me think I was probably a real ladder-climber at the IRS in my previous life. The real insult to injury bit of this is that usually when I'm at the grocery store my brain DJ gets to take a break because they're playing the muzak version of something from Dennis Deyoung's solo catalogue. If I could just go back to my IRS life and do something, anything to prevent this torture...I can't of course and you can bet if I forget to grab some music on my way out the door tomorrow my head is going to spin some classic Debbie Gibson. I hate you brain DJ!

10 comments:

karen said...

You just HAD to say Debbie Gibson, didn't you. If I'm lucky, a good round of Jimmy Neutron will get that song back out of my head tomorrow...

Aunt So-So said...

Shake your love. I just can't shake your love. Shake your love. I just can't shake...YOUR love. Shake it...can't shake....can't shake....just can't shake your love. Oh.....(synth solo...whistle blow).

LMP said...

You are pure evil. I love it.

word verification - "dress". Huh.

FlapScrap said...
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FlapScrap said...
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FlapScrap said...

Judges at county fairs use pickles to clear their palates between pumpkin pie tastings. When my brain DJ puts “She Bangs” on the turntable, I turn the tables with this little brain pickle.

This is my third attempt at making this worthwhile comment. First I had a link fail, second I had a spell fail, this time just right. Don't make the mistakes I made:

pallette: armor

palette: used by painters

pallet: a bed or mattress of straw; a cup containing 3 ounces; many other things -- this is your best bet when guessing the spelling, UNLESS you mean:

palate: roof of the mouth

Sister K said...

this is TOTALLY HILARIOUS!!! the other day i was running and my music transmit failed to my phone so i had to listen to brain music (um i mean i was trying to listen to natural nature noises) all the way home! LOL...your brain DJ is so much more creative than mine!

Keith said...

Shake your love. I just can't shake your love. Shake your love. I just can't shake...YOUR love.

LMP said...

@flapscrap - That was just mean. Way meaner than all the Debbie (I hear she prefers Deborah now) Gibson stuff.

Now my word verification is "cusal" which is almost "casual", kinda, which goes well with my earlier "dress". It is Friday.

The Plaid Sheep said...

Go out and read Musicophilia by Oliver Sacks. Go on. It won't get rid of the music but it's pretty cool anyway.